Azure Flame Reloaded

Zhuge Liang waits for Lu Xun. Zhuge Liang: Come, Lu Xun, show me that there is at least one man in this land worthy of being my partner. In the meantime, I shall randomly burn everything, just as any good final boss should do! Whilst the other Pleasure Rangers fight off the burning meteors that [...]

Zhuge Liang talks to the Lord’s Cube. Zhuge Liang: Lord’s Cube, please tell me the name of the one worthy to see my might weapon- is it Lu Xun or Liu Bei? Meanwhile, the Liu Bei dragon attacks Lu Xun and Sun Quan. Liu Bei: Die, and let me become the main character! All Iever [...]

Lu Xun has a Flashback Mode to the time when he first met Zhuge Liang in a black, featureless void. Zhuge Liang: Poor little boy, all alone without even a backdrop, Come to me, and I will show you the ways of men- it will hurt at first, but in time I’m sure you’ll come [...]

Liu Bei rails at the deaths of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Liu Bei: Damn those accursed Pleasure Rangers! Zhuge Liang, give me the HARD GAY power needed to defeat them! Zhuge Liang: Certainly, my Lord. Zhuge Liang uses the Lord’s Cube to infuse Liu Bei with HARD GAY energy; somehow in the process a [...]

Lu Xun tends to Guan Yu, who fortunately is back in human form. Guan Yu: Don’t you hate me? I mean, it was my turning into a horse monster that tipped this series over the edge into complete and utter ridiculousness. Lu Xun: I shouldn’t worry, it was heading that way from the start. We [...]

Whilst the Guan Yu horse monster thrashes around in a gorge, Zhang Fei is getting worried about his oath-brother. Zhang Fei: Zhuge Liang, where did you send Guan Yu? It’s getting late and I need him to warm my bed. Zhuge Liang: Sorry, but I’ve been too busy admiring myself to know where he is- [...]

As the Pleasure Rangers continue on their way home, Lu Xun is still in Angst Mode. (Lu Xun: Why did this have to happen? Now I’m never going to get a glimpse of Master’s mighty weapon!) Lu Meng: I think there’s a farmhouse nearby- we should rest and have some refreshing HARD GAY there. Taishi [...]

Lu Xun is in Angst Mode. Taishi Ci: Snap out of it, man- there are only seven episodes left! We have to get back to Wu! After a brief spot of HORSE, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei report in to Liu Bei. Liu Bei: What do you mean, you were unable to defeat the Pleasure [...]

Lu Xun and Ling Tong approach Zhuge Liang’s hut. Ling Tong: Aniki, are you sure you should go alone? Lu Xun: Yes- I need to ask Zhuge Liang to bless our union. Ling Tong: Can I actually count on you to come back? What if he seduces you into breaking up with me? Lu Xun: [...]

Ling Tong binds Lu Xun’s wounds. (Ling Tong: He has to notice me after this!) (Lu Xun: Master, why have you forsaken me for the charms of other men?) The next day, Lu Xun visits the shrine with Sun Quan. Lu Xun: Before he died, Zhou Yu told me that Master was in danger. Sun [...]