Tuesday Rumble: July 1st
Allison and Lillia: the game
Can’t get enough of Allison and Lillia? Need something to do when each episode finishes? Well, fear not, because we have just the thing for you- Allison and Lillia: the game! An action-based game, A&L throws conventional physics out of the window for the most rip-roaring ride you’ve ever experienced! Shoot down trains with pistols, try to outrun an insanely fast tank and even blow your enemies off rooftops with the power of your plane- it’s all possible in A&L: the game! Reserve your copy today, because they’ll be disappearing off the shelves faster than you can say “Wil is an idiot”!
Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters
Sensei enters the classroom and tosses out a pair of dancing shoes.
Kafka: Sensei, have you been dancing?
Sensei: Yes, but I can’t get on with it at all! None of the steps are anything like their names!
Kafka: But they’re just metaphors- everything has to have a name.
Sensei: Zetsubou shita! The society that encourages bizarre names for dance moves has left me in despair!
- A ‘hand on bum’ step that involves placing the hand on the hip.
- A ‘neckbreaker’ that involves no breaking of bones.
- ‘Sliding doors’ that aren’t in a doorway.
- A ‘whip’ that has nothing to do with S&M.
- An ‘octopus’ that doesn’t have eight legs.
- An ‘American spin’ that doesn’t take place in America.
Nabari no Ou 1-3
“There’s nothing wrong with satisfying the need for Pleasure.”
“And I’d just like to say that I’ll always be ready and willing to help get your motor running.”
“I should never have tried having Hyper Self Pleasure for ten days straight!”
“Pleasure techniques that no-one was meant to know are contained within them!”
“…of Ultimate Self Pleasure!”
“No matter the kind of Pleasure, we’re all gagging for it!”
“I still remember how great it felt!”
“When this guy said he had a dragon, he wasn’t kidding!”
“Why does everyone want to get inside my pants?”
“That way, I thought I could improve my Pleasure experience!”
“How many time do I have to tell you that I don’t care about advanced Pleasure?”
“And stop trying to take me without my consent!”
“He’s too big to take it out all at once- your backside would be ruined!”
“Just don’t let anyone else know how to do this!”
“You must become King of the Bedroom!”
An evil pimp appears.
“He’s my partner!”
“No longer should we feel embarrassed over our love of HARD GAY porn!”
“They took his Liang!?”
“I’ve assigned five partners to my bed for tonight.”
“Will that be enough for your insatiable appetite?”
“What’s wrong- don’t you like Gun?”
“We should aim for variety in the bedroom!”
This Week in Anime
Take note of the fruit in the background- they may the most intelligent life forms in the entirety of Allison and Lillia.
“Pizza-La, for the days before Studio Bones could bring you Pizza Hut.”
“And this, Rose, is our latest enemy.”
“You can’t be serious…”
Zetsubou shita! Sickness has left me in despair!
And people say bananas aren’t corrupt in the slightest.
“Yes! I’ve finally found a girl who knows how to Pleasure a man!”
“Tezuka, is there something wrong with you?”
“If you need the toilet, stop holding it in and just go!”
“How did you guess? Was it the way I’m sitting?”
“This apple will save us from the orange threat!”
“This is larger than any other fruit seen in anime so far!”
“Never! We apples will remain supreme! Exterminate all other fruit!”
“Sorry, I thought you said I like my Pizza Hut…”
Stay healthy- eat apples.
“Okay, who ate my Pizza-La?”
“Zetsubou shita! The society that encourages people to eat pizza has left me in despair!”
Classic PC games: Paganitzu
A sequel to the game Chaganitzu (a title so old that it played at insane speeds even on a Windows 98 PC), Paganitzu takes Indiana Jones rip-off Alabama Smith deep inside a giant pyramid of the same name, where he must solve puzzles involving keys, spitting cobras and deadly spiders that sever Smith’s head the moment he goes anywhere near them. It’s good fun, if frustratingly hard at times, featuring tens of rooms for our hero to navigate through that range from straightforward to fiendishly hideous. Just remember that whilst you will need speed and quick reflexes as well as puzzle solving abilities, don’t even think of going on the attack- Alabama doesn’t even have a whip to his name with which to fend off the enemy.
Harem of the week: Fayt Leingod (Star Ocean 3)
With destiny on his side, Fayt was able to catch the eye of the ladies on his journey to save Elicoor II and the galaxy.
Sophia: The childhood friend and main contender for Fayt’s heart.
Maria: The bold and brave ‘other woman’ who shares a past secret with Fayt.
Albel: The anti-hero swordsman who visits Fayt’s room late at night if you trigger the scene needed to recruit him in disc one.
Peppita: A young and outspoken performer.
Ameena: An Elicoorian who resembles Sophia; she strikes up a friendship with Fayt even though her heart ultimately lies with her childhood friend Dio.