Azure Flame Reloaded

We begin in the middle of a raging fire at a shrine for reasons which will later become apparent. An obviously evil man stands and watches as a generic tries to protect a woman.

Generic: Persona! Saki Mitama! No wait, Kusi Mitama! Oh, what’s the use, I’ll be dead by the opening credits!

The credits run, and now our story can truly begin. Out hero, Saizou is lying motionless in a forest.

(Saizou: Ah, this is so relaxing – and it saves on the animation budget too!)

Unfortunately, he is soon disturbed when a woman, Isanami, looking rather the worse for wear, falls into his arms.

(Saizou: Oh god, don’t tell me I have to touch a woman this early on! This will surely doom my quest for MEN!)

Saizou: I don’t suppose there are any men after you, are there?

Isanami: Yes!

Saizou: In that case, I’m off to find them. Nice knowing you.

Isanami: You can’t leave me here! I’m in the opening credits!

Suddenly, a bunch of masked men emerge from the trees, intent on attacking the hero.

Saizou: Your knives are far too small to satisfy me, generics! Buster Sword!

The generic enemies are swiftly KO’ed.

Isanami: Those guys are dangerous! You should probably protect me.

Saizou: Whatever for? I’m on a quest for MEN!

Isanami: Yes, but if you come with me, there might be plot progression, and then surely some bishies will appear!

Saizou: Hmm, you do have a point…let’s go.

They stop off to eat some soba noodles.

Isanami: Well, thanks for saving me. It’s so nice to have a man in my life.

Saizou: Now don’t go getting the wrong idea.

They continue onwards, until Ueda Castle is in sight.

Saizou: Look, I really have to dump you as soon as possible so I can get on with finding some MEN.

Isanami: B-but, plot progression!

A group of ninjas, led by slightly bishie Sasuke, appears.

Sasuke: Did I hear someone say he wanted a man?

Saizou: Only if they can satisfy my Buster Sword! You hardly look up to the task!

They briefly have Blade.

Saizou: This is pathetic!

Sasuke: Think again! Take this- Magical Leaf Attack!

Saizou: No, not the leaves! They mess up my hair!

Saizou drops to the ground. Sasuke goes in with his blade, only to attack useless WOOD.

Saizou: Even that WOOD is too good for you!

The Blade continues, until Isanami gets fed up.

Isanami: That’s enough! We’re halfway through the episode- the plot must progress!

Saizou and Isanami are taken to Ueda Castle to meet its commander, Sanada Yukimura.

Sanada: Late night visitors – that can only mean one thing…wait, who brought a woman in here?

Isanami: Sir, you must help me! My shrine was burned down and all the generic priests killed! I only managed to escape by virtue of being a main character.

Sanada: Well so what? Is there any reason I should care?

After promising they can stay for one night, Sanada leaves. Isanami breaks down in tears.

Isanami: This isn’t how the laws of narrative work! He’s supposed to help me!

Saizou has no choice but to comfort her.

(Saizou: Why me?)

Saizou leaves the castle that night, and Isanami follows.

Saizou: Go away! How many times do I have to tell you I’m looking for MEN?

Suddenly, the pair find themselves trapped in chains.

Saizou: A bondage attack!?

Men with swords attack, but are held off by Sanada and Sasuke.

Saizou: You used me as bait!? But I’m the main chracter!

Sanada: Then prove it! Show me how good you are with your Sword!

Saizou: Oh, all right then! Implausible Feet Blades!

Saizou frees himself using blades that spring from his feet. He draws his Sword.

Saizou: Buster Sword!

The latest wave of generic enemies is swiftly dispatched.

Isanami: Why? Why do I have to be surrounded by all this HARD GAY! Otome transformation!

The GEM on Isanami’s headband turns black, and she creates a void that destroys all the generics surrounding her.

Sanada: Interesting. By the way, I was lying earlier – I’d love to help you and get in on the plot.

Saizou: Fine with me. I’ll be on my way then.

Isanami: Oh no you don’t! We are going to star together in this anime whether you like it or not!

Back at the castle, Sanada talks to his subordinate, Rokurou.

Sanada: Plot developments are afoot, and I must be a part of them. These hands are no longer enough to satisfy my Zhuge Liang. My raging appetites will be satiated with no fewer than ten men!

Saizou is eavesdropping on the conversation.

(Saizou: He’s gathering men? This is perfect!)

TO BE CONTINUED…

Greetings all,

I still don’t have my PhD, I’ve started a new job and just moved house…but I felt a sudden desire to review video games and so I’m bringing the blog back. I’ll be focussing more on games than anime this time around, because anime reviewing becoming a chore was one of the reasons I let this place go. Post on Fragile Dreams coming soon.

When I started my PhD three years ago, I ended up with a lot less time and energy for blogging. Nor could I spend hours each week keeping abreast of the latest anime and manga, reading and commenting on blogs, and generally staying in the loop. Real life had called, and contrary to form, I had to answer. Read more »

With his parents away for a year, the protagonist transfers to the sleepy town of Inaba for his sophomore year in high school. But what should be a quiet life with his uncle Dojima and young cousin Nanako quickly takes a more sinister turn when the town is rocked by a series of murders. Could the murders be linked to the mysterious Midnight Channel, a link to a dark world within the television? In order to unravel the mystery, the protagonist and his friends must explore this TV world and unlock the power of their inner selves- the Persona.

Following in the footsteps of its predecessor, Persona 4 once again sees you playing a year in the life of a high school student who must juggle not only school work and a social life, but also regular trips to a world crawling with monsters. With some refinement and reworking of the Persona 3 formula, Persona 4 manages to essentially duplicate the success of the previous game, whilst also managing to establish its own unique style. Read more »

Alph, his brother Theo and their friends are wards of the Luminous Church, trained to protect the light and condemn the dark. The Church’s greatest foes are the Witches, but when Alph discovers that their new maid, Lucia, is a Witch, he is forced to re-evaluate his opinions of them. With the fate of the entire world hanging in the balance, Alph must choose carefully between the doctrine he has always been taught and the true motives of the Witches. Read more »

Goro and Lostman are men with a dream- to climb higher and further than ever before. But when Earth itself can’t provide enough of a challenge for the two of them, they set their sights on a new goal- space. Whilst Lostman aims to become a pilot, Goro uses his technical skills to sign on as a construction worker, but will both of them manage to achieve their dream? Read more »

In a magical castle under the waves dwells the goldfish Ponyo, daughter of the wizard Fujimoto. Yet Ponyo dreams of seeing the wider world, and on one illicit trip to explore the ocean, she makes it all the way to the shore. Befriended by a human boy, Sousuke, Ponyo eventually learns how to escape the sea and transform herself into a little girl, but will a time come when she will be forced to return to the ocean? Read more »

Having solved the puzzles of St Mystère, Professor Layton and his assistant Luke are summoned by Layton’s mentor Schrader to investigate the mystery of the Elysian Box, a supposedly cursed item that kills everyone who opens it. And when Schrader himself dies, Layton and Luke must use all the logic at their disposal to figure out the truth behind the curse of the Elysian Box. Read more »

THE JOURNEY (Director’s Cut version)

When the protagonist transfers to Gekkoukan High School for his sophomore year, his biggest worries are settling in, studying and making friends. On his very first night, however, he is thrust into the Dark Hour- a time when normal people are transmogrified into coffins and dark monsters known as Shadows emerge. Only those who can call upon the power of their alternate selves- Personas- are able to experience the Dark Hour, and they consider it their duty to fight the Shadows and explore the mysterious tower of Tantalus from which they emerge.

Taking the Persona franchise to the PS2 generation, Persona 3 is a mix of dungeon crawling and regular high school life, taking place over a year of in-game time. The bastard child of a visual novel and an RPG, Persona 3 melds together both elements of its heritage to make for an addictive and memorable experience. Read more »

Maria Osawa is a ditzy young reporter sent to Shanghai to help cover a conference. Unfortunately, tensions are running high in the city, and when she is targeted by assassins, it falls to her old friend Canaan to save her. Canaan is a young Middle Eastern mercenary who uses synaesthesia to her advantage in combat, but can even her superior skills help her protect Maria whilst also pursuing revenge against her long-time rival Alphard? Read more »